First of all, I need to say sorry if my post is out of topic. Two days ago, my grandmother has passed away and actually I'm devastated because last October I lost my uncle and then my grandmother. I feel a little bit disappointed because during her life, I didn't spend much time to be with her, I'm busy with works and stuff until I forgot that she needed someone to be with her. She's devastated after she lost her favorite son (my uncle) and now I lost her. Even though I'm not her only grandchildren but I'm quite closed to her. My life was really messed up and chaos before that, and then I lost both of them. Sometimes I'm tired of playing God's games, it's not that I blamed God for everything. But why, every bad things happened to me all the time. Honestly, I never smile & happy until now. Even if I smile, it's not a sincere smile. Right in my head, a lot of problems going on. I used to be a happy man, happy with my life but not until few years ago when I'm not happy with my life. I eat a lot, not enough sleep, turned out to be a silent person, tired face and I like to be alone. I have a poor family and I'm not really close with my brothers and sisters except my mother. It's all because of my life doesn't seem right. At first, I think positive and I was just like move on with my life but bad things keep happening to me. I really hope and pray that all these bad things can be erased from life instantly. I'm really tired of this..